warmth in the coldness of life…

Archive for the ‘family matters’

Cute Baby Drake

February 18, 2010 By: Bing Category: family matters

baby drake in his stroller

Though he is not in a Bob revolution stroller, baby Drake still looks cute and cuddly.  His eyes always beg you to come get him.

Babies are always bundles of joy.  To me, every baby is beautiful.  There is always that sweet smell, flawless skin, and very innocent look.  They are little angels that make the day.

It is truly sad that some mothers or parents do not see them as heaven-sent and a delight.  While some wishes fervently for even only a child, there are many who neglect their children and do not care less.

It is indeed an ugly truth that some babies who are as immaculate and harmless could be harmed.  Some of them are even molested or left alone in the streets.  Some are not fed and taken care of.

Babies are bundles of joy, and they don’t deserve any of what I mentioned.  They deserve more than anything or even more than the lives of those who had procreated them.  They are tiny lives that deserve the best.  They are blessings from God.

Grow your Hair, Trim Your Hair, Loose it

February 15, 2010 By: Bing Category: 2 cents worth, Life Decisions, family matters, life, life's choices

The hair is our crowning glory.  That is why people from all over the world do everything to make it look beautiful. They grow it, then trim it.  Not only that, they color it, they perm it, they rebond it, they treat it.  They not only wash and shampoo it.

Because of these complex processes, the hair follicles become weak.  The hair starts to fall, and worse, it does not grow back.  Then people starts looking for whatever cure for hair loss that could grow it back.  Sometimes there are successes, sometimes there aren’t.

We can relate what we do to our hair to what we do to our life.  The complexities that we let our lives experience causes its light to flicker and sometimes die.   The harshness we let our lives endure causes death.  Not in the realistic sense but implicitly.  Not in the truest form but pragmatically.

Healing from a Loss

February 13, 2010 By: Bing Category: family matters, info leaves

Today’s technology and science make it easy for us to get rid of physical imperfections like an acne cleanser to an acne, steroids to body enhancements, liposuction to excess fat, supplements to body needs, etc.

But the scars left by the loss of a dearly departed will take time to heal.  It will not be easy but with each other’s support, it will be.

Being with Nanay for the longest time, Papsie is the one most affected.  During the time Nanay was ailing, he was very much overwrought that there are nights he cried.  He always uttered that if only he can find a way to ease the pain, or end Nanay’s suffering, he will give it to her willingly.  But Nanay was very firm in her decision not to be brought to the hospital.  Papsie was so helpless that time, silently bearing the pain, giving in to her dear mother’s wishes.

By the time we decided to bring her to the hospital against her wishes, the poor old woman was cussing inside the car, unable to say what she wanted to say but letting everybody know that she really did not want to be carried to the hospital.

When Papsie saw the following day that her vital signs were not improving and the BP was going down, he decided to go home making an alibi to the priest that he still have something important to do for Nanay’s sake.  The truth is, he cannot bear seeing Nanay go.  The pain was unbearable for him that he was worried it would affect him that much, thinking also that he is hypertensive.

Nanay died without Papsie by her side.  But I know she would not mind.  The many moments, days, months, and years were enough to prove how he loved her so much.  Papsie tried very hard to be a good son to Nanay even during those time he felt that all the things that he’s doing were not appreciated.  Papsie repaid the goodness Nanay had shown.  He counted the good things against the bad, and Nanay still is the best nanay for him.

“Goodbye, Nanay…”

February 12, 2010 By: Bing Category: family matters

Yesterday was Nanay’s cremation.  While others watch the process from a seemingly window-like opening while her body was being transferred to the oven, I chose not to watch.

I want to remember her as she is when she was still a jolly, alive and able-bodied figure though the last memories were really painful, especially to Papsie.  My daughter even erased her photos on the coffin in our camera when a relative borrowed it and took pictures of her.  I guess we would not want to remember her in that condition.  A nice funerary box with ornaments like a design furniture would not even erase the truth that Nanay’s gone.

And as a nephew uttered, ‘too late for a wake up call for those who were not able to ask forgiveness or to have shown love and kindness in her painful and dying moments“.   All that everybody could do is to change whatever (hard feelings, hatred, et al) everybody was not able to repair and to show love and bestow forgiveness.  This is what Nanay wanted to.

Son Daryl was not able to attend the last rites and to come to her cremation.  He was saddened actually that he cannot be able to read this piece of writing:

” I did not cry when I heard of my lola’s passing; I did not shed a tear for if I did it would not be for her sake. I say to the people that it was only just for her to die as she did for her life had already achieved fulfillment. The fact of the matter is that she was ready to die. I say to the people that they should be happy for her suffering has now ended; she is now at peace. I say these things, knowing fully well that such words cannot erase the pain, the pang, and the hurt people felt and probably are feeling right now.

To many of us, lola has been and still is a pillar – a paragon of strength and resilience. Despite having lived through World War II and Martial Law, lola remained strong and steadfast for the sake of her family. She toiled hard; she was industrious. She truly worked her butt off. All of this she did for her brothers, sisters, husband, sons, daughters, granddaughters, grandsons and even her great grandchildren. Indeed, she has more than served her part as the “ilaw ng tahanan” as we Filipinos would say.

To many of us, lola’s kindness and love proved to be a haven, a home to come to when we were in the darkness. The amount of help she had given people is not something that can be easily measured; I digress,it cannot be measured. Her love was not only reserved for her family but also for her friends; her kindness an example for us to follow.

It then is understandable why many of us were pained when we saw her strength crumble in the past few years, months, weeks, days and hours of her life – why, at the twilight of her life, we were pained to see her suffer and to see her diminished. It is now apparent why many of us cried at the time of her death, for even if we knew beforehand that her death was imminent, we also knew that we had lost a great sister, mother, grandmother, great grandmother – all in all, a great person.

Now, I say these things not to exalt her on a pedestal; nor to make her seem immaculate and faultless. Many times, I would be irked at her constant calling of my name whenever she is in need of this or that; many times, I would frown whenever she speaks of how this person or that person did this or that. My lola was overly critical and very hard to please. I remember one time when my father cooked sinigang and she said that it was salty even when most us found it delicious. Yes, she was that hard to please.

No, my lola was not perfect; no one is, and no one ever will be. What my lola was, however, was that she was human. She was a human who tried her very best to be a good person in the way she saw fit; and to a very great extent, she succeeded.

So now, we have come to bid our final farewells to one Leonisa G***** A********.  I would not say to you all not to cry for that is a very difficult thing to do. I would not say that we all should be happy for that seems almost impossible at a time filled with mourning. I would not say that life will be easy – that life would be the same from hereon after. However, what I would say is that we should all be thankful. Thankful for what, you ask? Well, for many things; that God has given us Nanay, Nanay Taba, Leoningning, Lola Taba or whichever name you’ve come to call her; we should thank God for making her part of our lives. We should be thankful that lola’s suffering has ended. Finally, we should be thankful that, I believe, Leonisa, my dear lola, has found her peace in the arms of heaven.

Lola, we will always love you… “


Death Wish

February 05, 2010 By: Bing Category: 2 cents worth, family matters

Here’s a situation:

A sickly old woman wails every time she moves.  Being heavy-built, the moving and walking efforts cause her to gasp for air thus resulting to groans.  She said she just wants to moan to ease the aches and pains.

One day, the wailing becomes more louder, more frequent, more untimely.  Still, she does not want to be brought to the hospital.  She is in real pain and she is not aware of what is happening around but only about the aches and pain and the miserable condition.  She couldn’t even lift a hand to put the pieces of mango into her mouth.  She fell while going to the comfort room after fainting.  The soiled clothing in her room, like rugs,  smell of urine and what have yous but she is not even aware of them.

She pleads for death to come.  She asks for reasons why she has to suffer.  Still, she does not want to be brought to the hospital.

Now, the question.

Will you give in to a death wish?  Will you assist someone to her death in whatever form you can?

Normally, the loving people around her will definitely want to bring her to the hospital to give her the immediate medical attention.  This is in the hope of easing her pain or giving her relief, if not completely treating her illness.

To say that she is simply seeking attention or naglalambing is thoughtless and uncaring but for those people who loves her that much and wanted her to die in peace in whatever form, will it be understandable?

A friend said that sometimes it is better to give in to a beloved’s death wish.  In the hospital, the environment would appear as not common and unfriendly to the ailing individual.   The people that they love are not around therefore making them uneasy and alone.

But are these reasons enough to let the ailing person be?

A Deadly Maternal Metaphor

January 16, 2010 By: Bing Category: family matters, relationships, stories

She told her in-law that her husband does not want to fetch the doctor.  In truth, the in-law’s husband was telling her that if he will go and get the doctor, she will be advised to go to the hospital and she readily disliked the idea.  She was told that it will surely be the case.

The following day, as is being told, she told the in-law that her husband does not want to fetch the doctor.  It was like saying he does not care.  And it is for this reason that the in-law crabbily explained that it is not true that he does not want to go and get the doctor but because her husband knows that she does not like to go to the hospital.

She replied she just wanted the doctor to give her a prescription for her cough and colds.  She cannot go to the hospital because her dearly beloved who is the only one looking after her in the hospital cannot be made available.  The in-law recalled that surely this is not the one who took the pains of looking after her and staying longer than anybody else in the hospital with her.  Sad truth that lies behind a deadly maternal metaphor shouting ‘I only care for one; the efforts and hardships of the rest, I do not care.’

It is not to be blamed that the people around wonder about the rudeness of that opening in that part of the head.  Why, at times, the people merely wanted an emi shielding plunked on it to ward off the wicked prose that leak out of it.   But because night is dawning, the people are left to forcibly endure the harsh languages.

Photohunt: Thirteen

April 20, 2008 By: Bing Category: family matters, mixed nuts


Here is what I have to contribute for yesterday’s Photohunt theme. It consists of thirteen pictures of baby Drew, the youngest baby in the family.


Baby Drew is the firstborn of hubby’s nephew Raffy and Sally. I ran out of time to post it yesterday because we went to visit my best friend Mila’s abode yesterday which is in far away San Mateo, Rizal. And yes, it is still a part of the Philippines he he

Photohunt: High

March 29, 2008 By: Bing Category: ANG AKING SI DARYL, family matters, info leaves, mixed nuts



We are currently riding HIGH. Finally, it’s Daryl’s high school graduation. He graduated last March 28, 2008 and he is in the top 5 of the class. He had also received awards such as Best in English and Best in EP.

We are currently feeling HIGH.  He did not fail us.  Check this out to have a peek of all of the graduation photos and where I treated them after the program.

Photohunt is giving me a HIGH feeling , too. Every Saturday is a challenge.

It's His Birthday and I'm Broke

March 06, 2008 By: Bing Category: ANG AKING SI DANNY, OKASYON, family matters



Not a Series But an Unfortunate Event

February 07, 2008 By: Bing Category: ANG AKING SI DANNY, family matters

“You never know what will happen tomorrow,” Papsie uttered. This was the night after Papsie fell from the stairs to the children’s rooms, from the 7th step to be specific.

It was a shock to hear the words from Kay when she called up the office. It was during lunch time. Her voice cracked while reminding me to keep calm. I immediately dialed 187 to ask for the hospital’s number. I was able to contact the hospital and talked to the nephew who went with Papsie to the hospital. He was at that time in the x-ray room and after a while I was able to talk to him.

This was what happened.


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